Two courageous Ismaili women agreed to share with us their stories -- how they wept, engaged their life challenges, and found depth and control to manage their grief and lives.
Amynah Welji had graduated, started her first job, and her world was filled with excitement; yet life would quickly remind her of its unpredictability. She was diagnosed with Ewing’s Sarcoma, at the age of 27, during the midst of Golden Jubilee celebrations. Although her illness has a high mortality rate, with timely medical care, family support, and inner strength, she survived and is now 11 years cancer-free.
But these have not been years of pure ease; she was forced to find further strength in 2017 when she was blessed with her daughter, Mia, who was misdiagnosed in-utero and born with a fatal chromosomal abnormality. Amynah and her husband, Shaffiq, quickly had to redirect their focus to Mia's life, rather than her diagnosis, to ensure her a dignified existence before she passed on, leaving them with 16 days of beautiful memories. In Mia's existence, Amynah found the loving bond that exists between a parent and child, one that brought her closer to her faith. Today, Amynah and her husband, Shaffiq, parent five-month-old Khalil with strength and sagacity fostered by their experiences.
The scourge of cancer targets indiscriminately, and Naheed Allaudin's life was also changed by this disease. She had spent years devoting her time to family and to the Jamat's Early Childhood Development initiative. Her life changed abruptly when her husband Akber was diagnosed with Stage IV stomach cancer. Despite treatment, Akber lived only a few more months.
Naheed was thrust from homemaker and sevadari into managing the family’s business - without formal training. Today, she continues in this role, coming to terms with the loss of her life-partner, with the emotional support of her two adult sons.
Both Amynah and Naheed have encountered pain; beyond that pain, though, they have found strength from within, an unremitting drive to move forward, and self-understanding. How did these women come to accept their circumstances, take charge as best they could, and tackle each day?
Amynah believes that her experiences have led her to greater connection to her faith. Etched in me is “the Imam’s guidance - that if you have faith, you may be sad, but you will never be unhappy.” In this way, Amynah gives importance in her daily living to “being open enough to experience small blessings.”
Amynah accepts that her experiences have happened for a reason - to mold her into a woman of strength, one who truly knows and understands herself and her priorities. Above all, she recognizes that adversity instills humility. “I now understand that it is not about the end result but about the journey, so I focus on the journey,” she recalls. “Adversity is a normal part of life. I am defined, not by my successes, but by how I react to my adversities.”
Naheed, too, is bolstered by her faith. To be sure, she finds herself questioning why she was not given more time with her husband. Yet, with each day, she recognizes that life runs according to a plan greater than the one she may have for herself. “I prayed for a miracle to heal him, and the miracle was that he did not suffer in pain, and was peaceful to the end.”
“Akber and I both came to recognize the unmatched value of spousal support,” recalls Naheed. She adds: "While everyone commented that I was strong. I knew inside that I wasn’t. My husband’s strength is what made me strong. We focused on building a positive environment in our home and on coming together as a family, singing together, praying together.”
While we all experience hardships. we stand to learn from the courage and authenticity with which our fellow beings encounter, overcome, and grow from adversity.
